Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I fill condoms, not promises.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
