Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love you. Go after that dick
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