I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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