Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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