im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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