i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
