Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
