I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize