he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
