I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
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