I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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