fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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