Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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