mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
