I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
