I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
