'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
