Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
