she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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