just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
