do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
