Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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