dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
