remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
