I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
