my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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