smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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