found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Everything about him screamed your future.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
