Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
