Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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