yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
