If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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