I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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