I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
