she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
