Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
ttyl tear gas
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
