i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
