if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
