3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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