a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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