Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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