I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
