wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
