Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize