walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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