yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
