SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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