you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
