How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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