let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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