I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
