I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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