I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
