I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize