im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
