you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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