we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
