We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize