Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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