yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
