I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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