Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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