i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
