its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
There's a naked man in my car right now.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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