I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
