Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
