Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
