Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
