So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize