yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
