You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
