Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
