I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize