new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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