This girl is more easily done than said...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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