We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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