i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
