I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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