Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Success! We fucked roommates!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
