if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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