I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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