This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
People in love make me want to vomit
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
