im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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